And while “normal” is pretty dang subjective, there’s a good chance you’re not the only one navigating new feelings about a relationship, positive or negative. No matter how similar two people make think they are, there will always be a trace of difference that can be found between them. We need to earn money to survive here on earth. Whether your relationship was already doomed before the pandemic or the pandemic is showing you things about your partner and relationship that you can’t unsee, now is a sucky time to go through a breakup. So if you’re questioning whether it says something about you or your relationship that you’re not thrilled to suddenly be spending 24/7 together—especially with the stressors and pressures of a global pandemic—don’t worry. There are rare moments in a relationship when a drift develops between a couple. “A lot of couples who live their lives like two ships passing in the night and are so busy between their jobs or their commute or their kids haven’t gotten this kind of quality time together for a long time,” says Jamea. If you can relate, you’re definitely not alone. When we talk about issues in a relationship, we always tend to look inward for things that cause it, but this isn’t always the case. Any information published on this website or by this brand is not intended as a substitute for medical advice, and you should not take any action before consulting with a healthcare professional. Is it normal to talk to your psychologist about your relationship and about issues with the guy you are dating? “Some people feel their partner is putting them at risk, others think their partner is being too uptight and preventing them from enjoying life,” says Jamea. Just like how sickness is a factor of growth for all living things, so is couple’s fight a factor of relationship growth. Most couples fight, but most don't post their fights online. “We have been talking about engagement and marriage and that conversation feels like it's on hold since we don't know when we will be able to plan a wedding,” says Sam. Despite Japanese attempts of adding more multilateral approaches to the bilateral relationship, China’s different concept of … It might be easy to beat yourself up if you’re not “taking advantage” of sheltering in place to cook together more, have cute date nights, catch up on your sex life, or whatever you once told yourselves you’d do together when you had “more time.” But these are not exactly easy times to be on top of your couple game, whether you live apart or are isolated together but too busy dealing with the stresses of the pandemic. “I think a lot of people are aware of the fact that there’s a huge percentage of people who are truly alone during quarantine,” says Jamea. 4. Although there are certain developments towards a more “normal ” relationship, there are several characteristics of the current situation which do not warrant to speak of a “normal ” relationship. Also, there are periods where the fighting may be more frequent. It’s weird to think about and I’m worried that not being able to take this step intentionally instead of out of necessity will catch up with me.”, Speaking of moving in together, if you took the plunge because of the pandemic and are grappling with the decision, don’t be too hard on yourself. Your email address will not be published. All rights reserved. Here is a list of normal relationship issues: Misunderstanding itself is very common in the world we live in. Delivered weekly. 5 Signs of Relationship Issues No One Should Ignore Paying attention is half the battle, but you both need to do it. As money is related to this physical world. Revisiting the same conflicts all over again a long way into your relationship can prove nerve wrecking and counterproductive, regardless the topic you’re fighting for. SELF may earn a portion of sales from products that are purchased through our site as part of our Affiliate Partnerships with retailers. If it was up to me, we’d all talk about our exes on the first date (and usually, I do). Despite Japanese attempts of adding “So couples who were already having some issues might see these things come to a head, whether it was a big issue like trying to recover from infidelity [or] smaller issues like arguing about finances or childcare.”. “I feel like we don't have a chance to miss each other. Family issues Extended family or blended family issues are another top problem many couples will face. Click the links to find a ton of free common-sense advice, information and tips to help you fix your relationship troubles. “This is an unprecedented time and it calls for different measures.”, There’s no understating how difficult things are right now, so plenty of couples who rarely fought before—or at least who considered themselves good at fighting constructively—are dealing with an expected surge of quarreling. The relationship between a daughter and her father is a major factor in the growth and development of a female. “This situation has really brought to the forefront the importance of healthy self-esteem, how our childhood and past relationships have brought us to this point, and the responsibility we have to work our own shit first instead of expecting others to magically know how to make us feel better,” says J.R. “Knowing why we do what we do has been fundamental to understanding how we can work on issues to improve them.”. Required fields are marked *. These are some of the worst ones. That relationship sucked, but in the moment it was like, ‘My ex never chewed with his mouth open’ or ‘My ex wouldn’t make me put the kids to bed every night.’”, You might not even be comparing your ex to your current partner. By the way, the stressors of the pandemic might cause expected rifts or challenges in a relationship, but they’re not an excuse for abuse. “So they’re feeling very lucky and don’t want to rub it in their single friends’ faces.”, Of course, there’s a flip side to this. … There are times when couples are saying the same thing but still end up having an argument because they both misunderstood each other. Once I was done being emotional, I knew I was romanticizing him. Whenever people talk about fighting in a relationship, they always tend to see only the bad side of it. Now that you've read through these 10 strange relationship behaviors that aren't actually weird at all, hopefully you feel a little better about your own relationship. Impulsive spending that is damaging your relationship Unfaithfulness Sexual problems Difficulty controlling anger and other emotions Mental illness that is getting in the way of your relationship You want to take your relationship Boundary Issues Unclear relationship boundaries almost always lead to resentment, which is something that can get worse with time — for you and your partner. Quarantine makes us do wacky things, I guess.”, In a time when there’s a lot of suffering going on, it’s natural to think about the privileges we have—whether that’s still having a job, good health, or yep, a relationship to help get you through this. “They came to me and they were embarrassed because things were rocky and they needed help already, but it’s okay,” she says. I have been in a relationship with the love of my life for 3 years and counting now, she is my first girlfriend and the first in many other things. This is the reason why the famous marriage vow quotes. With so much uncertainty, most of us are living in a suspended present, making it feel impossible to figure out what next week will look like, let alone next year. “They think, ‘They've got a partner to keep them company, they don’t have to deal with loneliness, they can entertain each other,’ without really realizing that a relationship brings its own set of issues and dilemmas.”, If you’re dealing with any of the negative emotions on this list, it can obviously be frustrating to have people diminish your experience and assume you’ve got it easy compared to them. It doesn’t take a scientist to know that the coronavirus crisis is rife with stressors and challenges that would shake up even the healthiest of relationships. All couples run into relationship issues. If you feel unsafe in your relationship right now—or even if you’re just wondering if your experience is “normal” or okay—there are people you can talk to. “People can easily perceive, ‘Oh, that person is so lucky,’” says Jamea. These are normal, everyday relationship issues that don’t get talked about because it’s far easier to talk about puppies and sunsets. When this happens, it’s more important than ever to But I’m jealous of my friends who live alone for this. But several issues can come to light, once you're together all the time, that might make you question the future of the relationship. It's not something to judge yourself or your partner over. Do you know that fighting in a relationship is not necessarily a bad thing? At the early stage of the drift, the couple may be unaware of its presence but the longer the drift stays, the wider it gets and the more noticeable it becomes. “We don't tend to think very clearly when our nervous systems are in overdrive and our anxiety is through the roof,” she says. Like a lot of experiences on this list, it’s not so much the feeling that’s notable as it is the inexplicable guilt that comes with the feeling. Many toxic relationship habits are baked into our culture and we end up accepting them as normal. So some people are just...postponing it until later because they’d rather not deal with it now. Space from a partner is healthy, says Jamea, and it makes sense you’d be feeling restless or irritable without that. Hear what experts have to say about resolving them and keeping your love life on track. Such differences can either be small or great but regardless of its size, it is still a normal relationship issue. Normal Relationships Versus Relationships in Distress First, let's get one thing out of the way: no one's relationship is as good as they make it look on social media. If you still think you're odd, though, then embrace the quirks that make your relationship special and take a line from Holly Golightly in Breakfast at Tiffany's -- "It may be normal, darling; but I'd rather be natural." The grass is always greener.”. And if you haven’t started noticing these things and taking the time to express appreciation, now is an excellent time to start. What the person failed to understand is how complex and funny how life is. It's normal to not feel like having sex in a relationship. Maybe the pandemic is acting as a pressure cooker for relationship problems you already had or maybe it’s serving as a playing field for new, unexpected discoveries. Every marriage is unique, so it’s hard to say if things are “normal,” but there are definitely some universal challenges we all face and go through. Troubled times must come so that is what makes this a normal relationship problem, it is bound to happen at some point and it won’t end the relationship if it is not extreme. “I had a dark night where my husband had been getting on my nerves all week and all I could think was how my ex would be acting differently,” Lauren T., 29, tells SELF. It is also a normal relationship problem, as far as the couple are willing to hold hands in love and find a common ground, it will not break up the relationship. You look like you could use a little more support, positivity, and warmth right now. A pleasant side effect of the pandemic might just be that your appreciation for each other—and the work you put into your home, family, relationship, or career—has gone through the roof. “I feel for my single friends, but they don’t get it,” says Lauren. “I do think that there is a little bit of a silver lining there if couples are able to look at it that way,” says Jamea. “These tensions are putting huge tolls on relationships because people feel like they’re seeing a new side of their partner.”. If you weren’t already living together and decided not to cohabitate through the pandemic, struggles around a newly “long-distance” relationship might seem pretty straightforward. …and you’re probably heading for the same tantrums as I type this. Whatever it is, you might be wondering if your experience is normal. This is why it is a very normal relationship issue. Sometimes, external problems can pose a serious issue to a relationship. 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